just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
