That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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