He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
