those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
