another moral hangover. fuck.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize