My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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