Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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