I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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