a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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