It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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