i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
