once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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