U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's rum buckets o'clock
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
