Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
