is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
