Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
