You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
