just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
