Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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