I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
