I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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