He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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