She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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