i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
