Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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