It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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