I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
