just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So vagazzling was a success
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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