i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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