all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
