Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
