i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
