I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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