Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
