And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
