I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
