She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
