party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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