my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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