New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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