She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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