hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
