well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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