your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
