I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
