we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
