my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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