I hate all girls vehemently.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can I color on your dick again?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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