I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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