Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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