OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
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