College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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