They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
