How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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