Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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