6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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