i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
