i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
