i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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