I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
