So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
