Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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