I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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