Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
