Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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