Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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