know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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