OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
