but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
