Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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